


By All That's Gucci!

by amusewithaview



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Ugly Betty
Genre: Gen, Male-Female Friendship, Platonic Female/Male Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-16
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 14:37:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17061623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amusewithaview/pseuds/amusewithaview
Summary: Marc gets a new hag.





	1. Baby Got Back

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tthfanfic on 16 Nov 2007.  
> https://www.tthfanfic.org/Story-14593-2/amusewithaview+By+All+That+s+Gucci.htm 
> 
> Timeline: Pre-season for Ugly Betty, irrelevant for BtVS.

-+-  
  
  
"Oh my god, Harmony – look at her butt!"  
  
"It is _sooooo_ big!"  
  
He nodded, a wide smile showing off picture-perfect gleaming white teeth. Marc loved having another hag, even if this Kendall girl wasn't quite as smart as Amanda; it wasn't as if he was looking for a scintillating conversationalist. All he needed was a good secretary to buddy up with during the awful night-hours that Willy had him on while her Bridezilla tendencies continued to prevail - especially seeing as Amanda was _still_ on vacation.  
  
Honestly how long did it take to recover from the shock of finding out that your parents had been lieing to you your whole life and your old boss was actually your mom?  
  
"She looks like one of those rap guy's girlfriends," the vapid blonde continued. Suddenly she paused and frowned, "Wait, isn't that the name of a song or something? That phrase sounds _sooooo_ familiar…"  
  
Marc patted her gently on the head, making sure not to mar her gloriously coifed blonde hair. "Never you mind, kitten. I'm sure it'll come to you sooner or later. Probably later."  
  
"Yeah, probably," she smiled brightly.  
  
"Anyways, I'm going to go see who that unfortunately shaped model-wannabe might be, ciao!" They air-kissed and separated: Harmony to her filing – nails, not papers – and Marc to his insult-mongering.  
  
The assistant marched right up to pear-shaped personage and eyed her disdainfully. Really, there was no excuse for bad grooming, and even less for a badly conditioned body.  
  
Fat. _Ew._  
  
"Excuse me. Excuse me? You, in the fuschia skirt-suit, yeah who are - " One hand flew to his heart and the other to fumble behind for something to support himself against. "It - it can't be…"  
  
But it was! The unfortunately-shaped, badly-conditioned, pear-shaped, model-wannabe, big-butted, fuschia-skirted personage was none other than his own, dearly beloved hag: Amanda!  
  
"By all that's Gucci, girl – what have you done to yourself?!"  
  
  
-+-


	2. To Overbear and Overshare

-+-  
  
"He's mine you know."  
  
Harmony looked up from her typing, blinking baby-blue eyes in childlike surprise, "Excuse me?"  
  
"Marc," Amanda all but growled, her lip curling menacingly. Her next words were enunciated carefully, "He. Is. _Mine._ " She eyed the paler blonde's silky blue dress and _sooooo_ last-season shoes disdainfully, "Go find your own gay!"  
  
"Find my own - " The blonde smiled, feeling superior as her vague expression turned into something far more self-righteous, "Marc chooses his own friends, it's not my fault you got all..." She gestured towards the other girl's no-longer-svelte physique, words failing her.  
  
Amanda glanced down at herself, "I have big bones!"  
  
"What, like elephant-sized?"  
  
With a shrill shriek of rage hag-one hopped the dividing wall, tackling hag-two to the ground. The circular cubicle hid most of the fight from the surrounding area, but the sounds drew everyone's attention.  
  
Gossip. _Yum_.  
  
Of course when Amanda staggered from the booth, a small handful of hair clutched in her manicured grip, no-one could miss the beginning of round two. With a war-cry that would have done a kung-fu movie proud, Harmony knocked Amanda back onto the ground again for another bout of clichéd hair-pulling and name-calling.  
  
Betty cocked her head to the side as she exited Daniel's office with the ever-annoying Marc at her side, "Hey, isn't that the new girl? Who's she fighting with?"  
  
"Who, what, where?" The male assistant's eyes lit on the squabbling duo, instantly recognizing both shades of bottle-blonde. Grabbing Betty's shoulders he propelled her back towards her desk and out of range of the disturbance, "Know them? I don't know them, you think you know them? They're no-one, nobody special!" He shoved her down into her seat, sending her office chair spinning and smiling down at her brightly.  
  
She leaned sideways, looking around him just in time to see the battling blondes roll by down the hallway. Still bent over she shot Marc an exasperated look, "Well 'no-one' and 'nobody special' just rolled through security and into Wilhelmina's office."  
  
Marc hopped back out into the hall and winced as a crash and a scream echoed back to meet his ears. Phooey, it was looking like there was going to be another all-nighter.  
  
He sighed and pouted, kicking his foot against the ground, "Why do girls always have to _fight_ over me?"  
  
"I guess it's just your cross to bear," Betty shrugged.  
  
"I'm _tired_ of bearing, I bear too much... I _overbear_ , you know?"  
  
"You can be pretty overbearing, Marc."  
  
"Yeah..." He pulled a face, "My life is tough."  
  
-+-


End file.
